Contemplating Life

I am hunkered down with a stuffy head and scratchy throat today – probably picked up in the dry hotel room we inhabited for a few days. My Christmas eve post was about the very real grief that sometimes overtakes us in life. Grief is just something that is in this broken world. Today’s post, however, is about one of the other gifts we are given – laughter. Richard and I were invited to our son Zac’s place for Christmas dinner, so we left early Sunday and drove the miles in a calm and shut-down world. It was a truly peaceful drive. (A far cry from the trip home in which the Lord had to rescue us from a crazy truck driver who tried to take us out. I still shudder and dissolve in a prayer of thanksgiving when I think of it.) We had only been at our son’s apartment a matter of minutes when we were privileged to watch him kneel down and ask his girl Catherine to marry him. As you can probably imagine, the rest of the day was spent with face-breaking smiles and a sense of giddiness. It wa

This is very much NOT your typical Christmas eve blog post. However, it is what I had to work through my system this morning, and I decided to go ahead and share it. After all, Christmas can be a harrowing time for many. On the one hand there is the absolute joy of celebrating the memory of God coming in flesh to know, love, and redeem us. We can sing the songs with gusto, believing every word, and with our hearts overflowing with rejoicing. And yet.....we can also carry within us a wound so deep, a grief so harsh, that it sometimes rises up and sucks the breath from our lungs. Being human is always hard - being human during a holiday can be almost unbearable. I have lost a lot of people the past few years and not all of them were from death. There were some who left because they did not agree with my choices. There was one who left because I simply wasn't who and what she wanted me to be. We live in a disposable society, and sadly it is mind-boggling how easy it has become for som

                     Mercy Arriving In Dust We were born into temples of dust Yet treasured from the moment of birth; He desired our intimate fellowship And we were told to manage this earth. But we refused to hold to our part When the angel of light entered in And we blew up the relationship and all that was ours And became fragile temples of sin. The enemy took control of our world Of what was initially ours to command And we settled into the enemy’s leading And submitted to his demands. And the world just keeps growing viler Because we are listening to the wrong voice; And it all began in the garden When rebellion became our choice. Yet the God who created us foreknew What choices we would make So He already had a perfect plan- A Savior He would put in place. He is a God Whose Being is love- A love we simply cannot understand A God Who left His Throne to enter our world And inhabit the dust of man. He came on a rescue mission On what many

  God Of The Unexpected The night was dark and quiet; The smell of animals filled the air; It was not a King’s palace So You weren’t expected there. They looked for a vengeful warrior But You were a babe with wrinkled brow And rather than wearing a royal robe You were clothed in strips for now. There was no royal entourage Bearing armor, swords, and shields Just a bunch of lowly shepherds That had wandered from their fields. You cried a baby’s mewing cry: You slept and wet and soiled. So they asked, “How could the plans of the enemy By this tiny babe be foiled?” And on from there You lived a life That never fit what they desired So they could not embrace the plan of God And the way that things transpired. They never grasped that their King had to die On the horrors of a cross; They couldn’t see how it redeemed their souls; They could only see the loss. They then ignored the Resurrection Having been convinced it wasn’t true And in their

  My husband Richard and I (for the most part) enjoy living in the country. There is a peace and connection here that makes us happy. We enjoy the multitude of wildlife encounters that we have (except for raccoons – we despise raccoons and their destructive tendencies). We enjoy following the tracks of the deer, turkey, bobcat, etc, and we usually laugh heartily when a covey of quail suddenly flies up and startles us when we are out walking. However, sometimes our love of nature makes driving in the country a challenge. There is, of course, deer rut season that makes you drive like you are in enemy territory – constantly scanning the surrounding trees and ditches, especially if you are anywhere near a river, creek, or pond. Deer are insane during this season, and there is as much a chance that they will hit you as you will hit them. But what trips Richard and I up all year long are the sightings -those moments we are driving along and suddenly spy turkeys wobbling about in a field,

  Without Abatement I see You in the sunrise As light and color break the sky. I feel Your gentle touch In the breezes brushing by. The glory of the mountains Reveal Your majesty. The waving grasses on the plains Tell of Your Presence here with me. The hum of bees in the apple trees, The dust that flies from a cardinal’s wings, The pitter patter of a gentle rain - You exist in everything. So man in all his selfishness He lives without excuse When he denies Your existence And blinds his eyes to truth. For from the very beginning Your eternal Glory has been displayed And shines without abatement In everything You’ve made. © "For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see His invisible qualities - His eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God." Romans 1:20

  I’ve been thinking a lot the past 48 hours about the concept of “judging”. I’m sure it’s because of my own experience recently and the experience of a few friends lately. Social media (especially Facebook) is sometimes a great forum for judgment. You don’t have to look someone in the eye when you blast them with your condemnations. The ability to comment “anonymously” in some forums online seems to give people a license to let loose with their self-righteous thoughts. Of course there is always the person who I “almost” have a modicum of respect for because at least that person pours out his/her venom over the phone or face-to-face – your voice and/or presence denies your anonymity. Any way you look at it, people do have a tendency to be mean a lot lately. What is really bothering me is the actions of those professing to be Christian who are berating other Christians. It should not be. We are specifically told in Luke 6:37 “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not cond

  The picture accompanying this blog is of a card included in a gift my dear friend Shelly gave me. I plan to frame it and hang it in my office. I will be honest – for most of my life I have always been surprised when someone has really liked me and desired to spend time with me. I guess I have had such a warped sense of who I am that a big part of me has just wanted to hide in the shadows. I never felt worthy of people’s time or affection. When my son texted me recently after we had spent the day then retired to a hotel, he simply said, “Thanks for today. I really like you guys.” You can’t imagine what that did to my heart! I remember being in my 20s and becoming friends with a pastor’s wife. I was on the fringes of the church and not really a part, and I think I was a place of safety for Joan. I still remember the day she yelled at me. She told me that she really wanted to be friends, but I kept myself hidden behind a wall (mostly of jokes) to keep anyone from getting close. She wa

  During the time leading up to the Thanksgiving, I read and heard a lot of things that had to do with “thankfulness”. There was, however, something that a pastor said that really stuck with me. He said, “Gratitude must be intentional.” He went on to explain that, because of our sin nature, complaining comes easy and is often our mindset. I’ve thought about this so much. I think it is true that complaining does come easy. There is a negativity in our world that is like a virus that easily infects everyone. Sometimes it revolves around the fact that we spend too much time comparing ourselves and our circumstances with another; sometimes it arises because we confuse wants with needs and feel like we aren’t getting what we need; sometimes it arises because life is unfair, and we are too much like little children who stomp their feet and pout when things don’t go their way; sometimes it arises simply because we are focused on the wrong things. Whatever the reason, it IS easy to complain.

  I have been having such a wonderful time this past week, working on a board game I am creating for my grandsons. The theme of the game is “Noah’s Ark” and I am working to make it both entertaining and informational. It will incorporate everything from little known facts about animals (@ Gorillas burp when they are happy) to revealing the character of God. Of course there will be the “Uh-oh!” landing spots where things like “You stepped in a pile of elephant poop so go back two spaces” will be possible; there will also be chances to win “Ark Food” (little bags of Skittles). (Food offerings and boys go together like fish in water.) The picture with this blog is of the little playing pieces I painted to use in the game – they are supposed to be Noah’s family. :) I love playing with my grandsons. They are amazing little men. They are loving, intelligent, curious, ornery, exhausting little boys – and they have captured my heart. And I will be honest – I love how they love me. Even at th

  My husband and I were having our typical morning coffee time together one morning. During the coffee sipping we cover a lot of topics, including current events in our life and in the world. In a moment of quiet introspection, Richard suddenly looked really sad and said, “I am amazed that Jesus doesn’t just give up on man.” Wow…...heartfelt and sincere. And I completely understood and agreed. We simultaneously turned to a time of worship, knowing and praising God that He does not give up on us. I have felt Richard’s sadness often, especially over the past three years. The decisions being made, the fears being exploited, man’s inhumanity to man, the greed, the lies, the rampant foolishness…...some days it is a little much. Some days I cannot watch the news or finish the reports I am reading – I feel my soul shrinking within me and a mantle of despair that wants to settle on my shoulders. I have to set it all aside and return my thoughts to the Savior Who never changes. I have to tur

  One thing social media has done for us is to reveal more clearly the heart of man. People can be so critical, so judgmental of others around them. It is so easy to look at another person and “decide” – to draw your conclusions from where you stand, maybe to assign intentions to their actions, or even cast aspersions if you are prone to do so. People are definitely very censorious today, often without even knowing the facts of the situation. On the flip side of the coin, I also think that sometimes we are a little, well….flip. We convince ourselves that we “get” another person’s situation – we “understand” what they are dealing with or going through. The old adage “until you walk a mile in their shoes” has a lot of clout – you might “try” to understand, you might “think” you understand, but most of the time we don’t truly understand what the person next to us is dealing with or going through. I do think when you love someone, however, it is important to at least try to see their per

 It is THAT time – the “holiday season” where we indulge on Thanksgiving and overspend on Christmas. Some people excel this time of year – running on adrenaline as they decorate and bake and buy and just revel in the moment. But I know this isn’t true for everyone – some people travel this time of year in pain and depression. I am trying really hard to pay attention to the people around me and where they are functioning. I truly want to contribute to people’s hope and not add to their despair. I am going to confess something here – for most of my life I was the pain and depression person. I have dreaded this time of year for as long as I can remember. It has always been the “extreme” period when I have always felt the most alienated from family, the most alone, the time when I greatly felt that I wasn’t good enough to belong anywhere. And if I were to dive into the memory vault (which I will not do), I know that it has also been the season where I have experienced the greatest hurtful

  A few years back, I had a good friend sit across from me and ask me, “Do you really believe that Jesus is the ONLY way to God?” My answer was an unequivocal (very politically incorrect) “Yes!” and here is why: First, I believe that there IS a Creator God. The creation itself reveals His existence- everything is too detailed, too “functional” for all of this to be random. There is just too much order in what could and should be chaos – Someone is maintaining that order. Although many people continue to throw their hat in with evolution, a little research reveals that theory has no scientific substance – it doesn’t roll with what is evident around us. Rather, creation itself extols the existence of a Creator. As it says in Romans 1:20 “For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see His invisible qualities – His eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God.” This brings me to

 Yesterday was Thanksgiving, but in honesty every day is thanksgiving for me. I have so much that I am thankful for. I took a break from cooking at one point yesterday morning and went for a walk alone. It is sometimes good that we live in the country, because I was in the mood to sing, and well....I don't sing all that well. I was walking down our road, belting out an old song from years ago "We've Got So Much To Be Thankful For.". My heart was overflowing with thanksgiving, and at some points I was laughing as I walked at how horribly out of key I was. Anyone watching might have thought I was holiday drunk. :) I could write a book about what I am thankful for, but I think that what rose to the top yesterday was Jesus. I am so thankful for Him, and I am doubly grateful for where He has brought me this past year. A lot of lifetime brokenness in me has been healed and transformed. He really has renewed my heart and mind so fully in certain areas. I see life differently

 I have been reading through 1 Peter for a while. To be honest, I am still only on chapter 2. I have been reading it over and over, mining all the gold that is there: who I am in Christ, Who Christ is to me, how I need to live in accordance with who I am in Christ.....so much there for my spirit to embrace and feed on. I read Chapter 2 out loud to my husband this morning and I could feel my spirit dancing within as I read. (Maybe that sounds corny, but the joy rises up - as does the conviction!) This morning's poem came out of the joy of reading what Peter has to say. ******************************** Anchored I look around at the chaos And my heart senses the despair, But in the midst of it all my anchor holds Because I know that You are there. I live with great expectation Knowing this life is just a start To who I am and what I will be As part of Jesus’ heart. So though sorrow is sometimes a blanket And I grieve over hearts grown cold I stand my ground and pr

  Fire In The Belly There’s a fire in my belly That I cannot contain. There’s a fire in my belly With the constant refrain That “Jesus Christ is Lord!” No matter the chaos No matter the lies My heart holds fast There can be no compromise Because “Jesus Christ is Lord!” There’s a fire in my belly That has set loose my tongue Declaring His praises - My songs just begun That “Jesus Christ is Lord!” I’m finding peace in this chaos Hope in the confusion Joy in the sorrow Since my one true conviction Is that “Jesus Christ is Lord!” This life in the flesh Is just a blip on the horizon And on that glorious day All creation will bow in prostration Declaring “JESUS CHRIST IS LORD!” ©

  I have always loved to write. When I was in junior high and high school I thought I wanted to go into journalism. I remember going to a journalism camp in the eighth grade, and I especially remember how they reiterated loudly that “good journalism is never based on opinion – it must be verified by a number of factual sources.” Wow…..I am not sure that they teach that any more. Watching and listening carefully to what is going on in the world these past few years, I have been shocked by how often opinion is reported as fact. So many times what has been reported as certainty has later been disproved – it was either one person’s opinion or even a totally made up story. However, another thing that has shocked me is how quickly people have believed the media so fully that, later when something is disproved, they still hold fast to the initial lie. Sometimes I really do not understand the things people do. Maybe we are such a stubborn creation that once we have made up our minds, we do

   [I wish I could have gotten a photo to use instead of clipart, but the encounter I had this morning was too intense and too quick for a photo opportunity.] My husband and I live in the country, and in the early hours this morning I was on my way to town for groceries. Heading down one of our dirt roads, my space was suddenly invaded by the most gorgeous buck imaginable. He was HUGE! The muscles in his shoulders as he ran, the sun shining off the rack on his head – this guy was an Adonis! He came out of nowhere, running full tilt, and for some reason he was thinking that we needed to share the same space. Fortunately, I was paying attention. I wasn't going fast; I was able to break and swerve; he swerved a little also; and both of us left the scene without a scratch. Thank you, Jesus! Living in the country, my husband and I know to watch carefully for deer at dawn and dusk. We pass numerous water sources and tree rows in our trips to town, so an encounter is always pending. This