When I sat down to blog this morning, there were about a million words spinning through my head. Some were words of laughter (I saw my grandsons this weekend). Some were words of hope. Some of the words were questions that I am pondering but can’t quite get a fix on, and I am trying not to be frustrated. I finally decided to just share the words that have been overriding everything else the past few days. The following is a message I sent a friend early yesterday morning. I am blessed that I have a few people that I can be scarily honest with. I shared: “I got up early and was on the floor on my knees and face before the Lord. I want so much to live Jesus but I am humbled and broken by how clearly I see that my righteousness IS as filthy rages, my attempts to love like Him are so feeble. My spirit has been REDEEMED but the darkness that lives in my flesh is still terrifying. But what is darkness but simply the absence of light. So all I can do is beg the Lord of Light to fill me b