Contemplating Life

  If you’ve read my last few blogs then you are probably aware that I have been sitting in a little grief. Thank you to those of you who “saw” and prayed for me. This morning God used another memory from the past to remind me of His Presence in everything, even the grief, and I feel my spirit lifting. I am an adopted child, and I have struggled with some issues concerning that. Many years ago I hired an intermediary to help me to make contact with my birth mom. (In a closed adoption state that is the only option available.) I had anonymous contact with my birth mother, and the return letter I got from her was less than kind, so I tabled the thought and tried to let it go. However, in 2014, I received another letter from her in which she said that she had had a change of heart. So, in early 2015 we planned a meeting, and my hubby (best friend and sidekick) and I loaded up and traveled three states to meet her. On the way we stopped at a small town where my youngest biological half-bro

  It is very early as I write this morning. I didn’t sleep well or much; I had strange dreams again; and I am feeling my emotions. The emotion part is because, as I lay awake unable to sleep, I got caught in the loop of a memory. I had a flashback to the time when my father-in-law died. The kids were young and I was homeschooling the older two. When Allen was diagnosed with liver and lung cancer, it was so unexpected, and it was so advanced that he chose not to fight. As he declined in abilities it seemed the natural thing to have him move in with us. We got a wheelchair, oxygen machine, and the things we needed to keep him comfortable, and we moved all the kids together and gave him our son’s room. I won’t pretend that it was an easy time – it wasn’t. My kids were young and took a lot. I was really rather young myself and I had never watched someone die. There were “uncomfortable” moments as Allen and I navigated our days together while Richard was at work. It really wasn’t easy at

The pastor of the congregation that we enjoy, along with his wife, does a devotion each weekday morning. They began it with the pandemic lock down and they have continued it because people requested they do so. Richard and I have truly gleaned a lot from these morning “chats”. Recently Pastor Mark spoke about “carefully choosing who your advisors are.” I totally understand and agree with what he was saying. What and who we continuously listen to tends to direct our thinking and our actions, and people are often easily misled by listening to the wrong voices. After hearing Mark, I sat and thought about the question “who do I listen to?” For me, the list is short, because for me, trust is a real issue. Trust has always been a very hard thing for me. There have been so many things in my 61 years that have revealed to me the evil that lurks inside people. Early in my Christian walk as a young person, I came face-to-face with a wolf in sheep’s clothing that used and abused me and turned my